walking in the dark

In one of my literature classes in college, I read an essay written by a well-educated black man regarding his own sense of awareness that white women were more afraid of him than white men--particularly at night. To help ease their minds, he made a practice of whistling happy tunes as he walked the streets in the evening. Though I can't remember the name of the essay or even the author, the moral of the story has stuck with me: though we often don't mean to, we are still a society that stereotypes people. 

Tonight, as I was walking home by myself in the dark (and the rain), I gave little regard to the people passing by -- until I reached a particular unlit portion of my walk and a black man stepped out behind me. His proximity to me was a little too close for comfort, so I found myself walking faster, beginning to think about what I would do if he were to try to harm me. As he grew closer, I glanced behind me, which must have caused him to realize that he was making me uncomfortable. Immediately, he apologized for possibly scaring me and introduced himself. I shook his hand and asked him what his plans were for the night. He responded that he was just taking a walk in the rain. We made small talk for a few minutes as we walked, and when our paths split, he asked if I would like for him to walk with me the rest of the way. I told him that it wasn't necessary, but that I was thankful for his kind and chivalrous offer. (Seriously, very, very few guys offer to walk girls home in the dark anymore.)

So I tell this story to point out a few things I believe to be true: 

1. There continue to be racist roots at home in my heart. Though I have many friends of different ethnicities, there is something ingrained in me that tells me that a black man is more dangerous than a white man. I want this to go away.

2. I completely and wholeheartedly believe that we are all born with a sinful nature; I battle with mine every single day. Jealously, greed, discontentedness, anger, and pride get the best of me often. But I also believe that God has placed in each of us a desire to be good -- to get clean, you might say. It's refreshing to me when I see this truth at work. Most people that I encounter are trying to be good. They want to be kind, helpful, encouraging, and loving. And they care about justice. This is something I love about humanity.

3. I most likely should not walk home by myself in the dark, regardless of the nice people that exist on the streets.